Personal Growth That Doesn’t Need to Last Forever
The Growth Series
This is part of the Lifeticity Growth Series, a 5-part look at personal growth through the lens of a garden: Annuals, Perennials, Herbs, and Soil. The goal here is not self-improvement as a full-time job. It’s real-life growth. Habits that help, resilience that lasts, skills that build confidence, and a foundation strong enough to support the life you actually want.
When spring arrives, Annuals are often the first plants we reach for. They’re colorful. Cheerful. Reliable. We plant them knowing exactly what we’re getting. We know they won’t last forever. No one calls Annuals a failure, due to their impermanence. They do exactly what they’re meant to do: grow quickly, bloom generously, and add life to our lives. It’s time we started thinking about personal growth in a similar way.
The pressure of permanence in personal growth
At some point in life, we begin to feel the pressure to make things ‘stick.’ We’re encouraged to choose the habit, the plan, the routine, the commitment that will finally carry us forward for good. And that can be a good thing.
But by midlife, all that ‘sticking’ can leave us feeling like we’re just being pulled through our lives by a current. All the habits, routines, sometimes even the relationships we’ve built leave reinvention and choice out of the scenario, altogether.
If this rings a bell at all, consider that at some point we owe it to ourselves to rethink some our paths, our pursuits. And, some growth is only meant to be temporary. In plants and in life.
What Annuals know that we forget
Annuals live their entire life cycle in one season. They germinate, grow, bloom, set seed, and then fade. Their job is not longevity. It’s contribution. They remind us that usefulness and beauty are not measured by how long something lasts.
But as we log some years, we tend to start evaluating our choices based on permanence. The person we might have dated in our early 20s doesn’t hold much allure to us in our 30s, 40s or 50s. Even a job we might have accepted at 25, doesn’t seem as full of potential at 50.
We get quicker at accepting or rejecting people and situations based on our experience. Often, it’s our desire to take-on things that are going to last, not just make us happy in the moment.
So we find ourselves thinking ‘will taking a class in conversational French make any real difference to me in five years?’ Or, ‘She seems fun, but I’m not sure we have much in common.” Even ‘I’m not sure I see the point in planting a perennial garden now, because we may relocate in retirement.’
Small habits that require a small commitment
This is true of our habits, too. We stay in the Book Group when no one actually reads the book. Why? Even though it’s great to connect with this group of friends, we go away frustrated every month. We stay because it’s become a habit, a touchpoint.
We may dream about learning Italian, but think we don’t have the time. And yet we might have the time if we exited that Book Group.
Impermanence can be useful in personal growth
Maybe a brief friendship, or a dalliance in a hobby we know probably won’t stick, shouldn’t be dismissed so quickly. Maybe, like Annuals that bloom brightly, with no hope whatsoever of coming back next year, we should start seeing the value in a brief activity or burst of beauty.
Trying something for a season isn’t necessarily a waste of time. Maybe not all growth requires forever for it to be valid. Being enjoyable in the moment can be enough. I have no doubt that there’s value in experimenting, enjoying, learning. And then, sometimes, letting go.
Seasonal growth doesn’t need to last forever
Think about the things you’ve done in your life that didn’t last. A number of years ago, I took a pottery class with a new friend. Taking a class was a great way to make sure we gave the friendship a chance. Especially with kids at home then, it was tough to fit more things into the schedule. Suffice it to say, when the class ended, I never touched another hunk of clay (I was terrible!). But I’d made a new friend.
The experience wasn’t pointless. I did learn something about the kinds of pursuits and classes that would only frustrate me, and those I had at least a hope of enjoying. And many years later, when another friend asked if I wanted to go with her on an oil painting retreat in France, I knew it probably wasn’t the right trip for me.
Annuals don’t apologize for being temporary. They don’t linger past their usefulness. They bloom fully, knowing the season is finite. There’s something to that.
Why Annual thinking matters right now
Winter may not be the moment for lifelong overhauls. Maybe it’s more a moment for a more gentle reentry. So, instead of sending ourselves down a path of resistance, maybe we need to start slowly. Sometimes that may be something new (that may not be quite right), but that gives a brief window of learning or experience.
Annual thinking gives us permission to:
- Try something without turning it into an identity
- Revisit an interest without committing long-term
- Add color to our days without asking it to solve everything
Thinking about Personal Growth in this way, when we’re still knee-deep in winter, is the way to go. Annuals don’t require deep roots. They require curiosity, attention, and a willingness to plant.
What might be an “Annual” in your life right now?
You don’t need to decide if it will last. You only need to decide if it’s worth planting now.
Annuals grow best when conditions are right, but they don’t demand perfection. They ask for enough light, enough care, and a bit of space.
That’s often true for us, too.
As we move toward spring
This post begins a four-part series on Personal Growth, through the lens of plants: Annuals, Perennials, Herbs, and the Ground that holds them. Each week builds toward a deeper understanding of how change really works, without forcing it.
Annuals come first because they teach the simplest, and often the hardest, lesson: We’re allowed to grow without promising to stay the same.
Final thought
The best thing about “Annual” growth is that it doesn’t require a personality transplant.
It’s not about becoming some imaginary version of yourself who suddenly has perfect discipline and endless energy. It’s about choosing one habit that makes your real life easier or richer, and then deciding whether or not choose it again.
The goal is to create days that feel more aligned to who we are and who we want to be.
In the next post, we’ll move from habits into something more lasting: Perennials—the kind of growth that returns year after year, and quietly changes who you are.
If you missed the beginning of the Growth Series, the why, what and how of Personal Growth, you can find it here.
Next up: Part 2 — Perennials: Resilience + Identity
