How to Start ‘Seeing’ the Little Things in Life

We can all list off the big things in life that shook our worlds. Births, marriages, deaths, promotions, and travels all count. We may even feel extremely fortunate to have a couple events of this magnitude a year. While events like these are life-changing, focusing only on the ‘big’ things, means we’re missing all the opportunity for recognizing the joy in the ‘little’ things. Learn how to start ‘seeing’ the little things in life.

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Why the little things matter more than we realize

Punctuating our life with big events is a great way to take stock of the milestone moments. But if we rely solely on milestone moments to take stock of our happiest times, we’re missing out on a big opportunity. That opportunity is alive and well and our “ordinary” moments. And ordinary moments are far more plentiful than milestones. Ordinary times, if we know how ‘see’ them, are punctuated with lots and lots of the little joys we often overlook.

How to begin realizing the ordinary is the extraordinary

We all have them. But because they can seem trivial and fleeting, in the moment, we often let them pass without really giving them the credit they deserve. These little joys can be as simple as the way your dog’s ears perk up when you say her name. It could be the smile from a complete stranger when you’re having the worst day ever. Maybe it’s just the warmth of the sunlight streaming through your window.

During a tough time, I began to notice a small bird flying appearing on my terrace railing each morning. He’d fly in and land near my fledgling strawberry plant, watching me as I had my coffee. Bird would stand very still and look in at me, holding my gaze for long stretches. Whether or not it was actually true, I began to believe Bird was stopping by to see me each morning and it brought me a sense of comfort.

There is real power in the joy of the everyday

Psychologists describe this recognition of the power of the everyday moments as the power of the everyday. And it matters, hugely, to our feelings of life satisfaction. The accumulation of these smaller, consistent joys contribute to a higher life satisfaction, over time. The great things about this is we don’t have to wait to stack up the big moments, we can start cultivating these smaller moments of joy in our days, every day.

The science of noticing: Our brains are wired for negativity bias

This is why we may receive five compliments on our presentation or even our outfit, but what we remember is the one criticism or sideways glance. It’s called ‘negativity bias, and our brains have been hard-wired for it. According to neuroscientist Dr. Rick Hanson, our brains are “Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the positive.”

This tendency to focus on the negative helped our ancestors survive. Remembering danger was far more critical than pausing to admire wildflowers. But in our modern life where a tiger isn’t lurking around every corner, this survival mechanism backfires. We don’t tend to notice everyday joys because they don’t scream for our attention the way frustrations do.

The antidote to negativity is ‘noticing’

Consciously noticing the small joys, or ‘noticing’ is the antidote to negativity bias, according to Dr. Martin Seligman and his team at the University of Pennsylvania. Their findings conclude that people who deliberately reflect on “three good things” every evening, experience a measurable increase in well-being. Noticing doesn’t erase the negative, but it does provide balance.

This practice may sound familiar. It clearly helped give rise to the “Gratitude Journal” practice so often recommended today.

Why noting the little things works to build happiness

It all comes back to something called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity simply refers to the fact that our brain’s wiring isn’t fixed; it’s moldable. Every time we dwell on something joyful, even if it’s only for 20 or 30 seconds, we’re strengthening the neural pathways that make it easier to spot joy again.

This is why working to noticing the little things isn’t just idle advice. It’s actually brain-training. Over months and years, repeating this practice actually shifts the architecture of your mind toward positivity. Sure, this may not be an overnight fix to negativity bias, but it does seem to be a worthwhile practice for all of us. After all, even if we’re a positive thinker, we can always become more so.

So how do you actually put seeing the little things into practice?

Slow down and savor the little things

It’s easy to say ‘slow down.’ It’s more difficult to put it into daily practice. We spend so much of our day rushing from one thing to another, we think of slowing down as a recipe for missing opportunity rather than savoring it.

Maybe taking five minutes in the morning to really enjoy that first cup of coffee just isn’t in the cards. But maybe watching how quickly and profoundly the clouds are moving and re-forming as you rush to your first appointment of the day is. Note the feeling you have as you observe nature in all its mystery. Actually say out loud, “The clouds are amazing as this front passes through.” This practice helps root the wonder of nature in your memory.

Gratitude journals are not a gimmick

Sometimes, a beautiful, prompting Gratitude Journal is just what you need to get you going on the daily ritual. But you can also just use an old spiral notebook. For some, opening a beautifully bound journal helps you savor the moment. For others, it’s clutter. Either way, the point is to take a minute or two before going to bed to note three things you’re grateful for from the day.

Again, the point isn’t earth-shattering events (although they could be), but rather small moments that you paused to notice and you feel grateful for. Maybe you take a moment to realize all you’ve achieved and how you really are living the life you dreamed of.

Start your day with intention to help see the little things

Intention is the practice of setting a goal or a plan for the day. Maybe you want to notice one amazing or precious moment that day. Setting this intention first thing helps you seek out these small moments. Intention literally primes you to look for and find these good moments.

When you notice a little thing, savor it

This doesn’t mean you need to devote 30 minutes to all the sensations you felt when someone said something nice to you. It simple means take it in, don’t counter it with thoughts of ‘why’ they might have said, or whether or not they really meant it. Take it at face value and really breathe it in. Internalize it. Accept it.

Noticing the little things in midlife is especially important

Midlife and beyond can be a time where we face many transitions. Empty nests, career shifts, caregiving, and so on. During this phase of life, it’s especially important to notice and celebrate the small joys. This helps us navigate life inevitable challenges.

It’s called the broaden-and-build theory, and here’s how it works: Positive emotions don’t just feel good in the moment. They actually broaden our perspective, making us more creative and resilient, and help us build resources like stronger relationships and healthier bodies.

The little things and my terrace bird friend

Bird and I had our thing in the mornings. In the late afternoon I’d go out and water my plants. I’d been watching a couple of tiny strawberries turn, ever-so-slowly, from white, to pink, to red. One afternoon, I nearly picked them, but decided to give them one more day to fully ripen. I planned to proudly serve them alongside dinner.

The next morning as I sat down with my coffee, I noticed Bird was already on the ledge, looking particularly satisfied. It was then I noticed my now perfectly ripe strawberries were gone.

Bird hadn’t been coming to see me; he’d been scoping the perfect strawberry harvest and he’d beaten me to it. I was a bit sad to have been outsmarted, but I took a few minutes to reflect on the joy Bird had brought me all those mornings. The strawberry harvest paled in comparison.

Final thoughts on how and why to start seeing the little things

Happiness is far from scarce. It’s out there, but we sometimes need to pay attention to notice it. Keeping a Gratitude Journal, or truly appreciating your dog’s greeting, or the warmth of the sun, are all waiting to be noticed.

And the magic is that when we notice it, we start to share it and the positive feelings radiate outwards, multiplying in the best way.