How to Be More Open-Minded
The general consensus seems to be that the 45-plus crowd can be pretty closed-minded. We’re labeled ‘rigid,’ ‘set in our ways,’ ‘resistant to change.’ And, while this may be true some of the time, there’s a lot we can do to offset these labels. Being on the lookout for our own rigid thinking is the first step in learning how to be more open-minded.
Don’t underestimate the power of open-mindedness. Staying open to new thoughts, ideas, experiences and beliefs can be hugely beneficial, in ways you may never have realized.
My wake-up call
Sometimes, calling yourself out when you fall back on judgments you may have made years before is the first step. Just a few weeks ago, I found myself thinking ‘what?!’ when our youngest told us about the newest addition to his household. A text came in saying he’d rescued an abandoned kitten from the side of the road. He was thinking of keeping her.
My first thought was ‘a kitten?’ We are dog people. My husband and I grew up with dogs, we’d had a beloved dog who grew up with our kids. Kittens had never entered our field of vision.
Love at first sight
Then this pic came through. All it took was one glance at this little gem to instantly become a kitten-lover. Honestly, I was struck by just how fast I dropped all my preconceptions and years of believing I was not a cat person. As is so often the case, it was one of our kids who blew my mind wide-open.
How to be open-minded
Now, I realize this is probably not what we generally think of when we think of being closed-minded. We probably think more about judgments around tattoos, nose piercings, or whether a college education is worth it or not. Still, I was aware of my mind locking down around the notion of our son taking in a kitten.
Until I saw the kitten. And until I realized what a crazy thing it was to be so locked-down about.
Let’s explore some scientific reasons why staying open-minded as we age is so important.
The value of being open-minded as we age
We may need to work at it a bit, but it’s well worth-it to open our mind to all sorts of things. Doing so helps ensure we benefit from the cognitive, emotional, social, and even physical benefits that open-mindedness brings. Ultimately, we’ll find we’re living a richer, more adaptable, and happier existence.
What is open-mindedness?
In short, open-mindedness is the willingness to consider new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. This is even if they challenge our deeply held beliefs or established ways of thinking. As we age, our personal histories grow longer, our experiences are more numerous, and our perspectives often become more entrenched. But this can be a double-edged sword.
Sure, accumulated knowledge and wisdom are invaluable, but clinging to past beliefs can hinder our ability to adapt to a rapidly changing world. It can also mean we miss new opportunities and connections. In my experience, it can also distance us from our kids and the younger generation.
Being open-minded is good for our brain
Everyone wants to stay cognitively sharp as the years go on, and being open-minded directly impacts our cognitive ability. The human brain is amazingly adaptive, even as we age, something experts call neuroplasticity. This capability means we retain the ability to form new neural connections. An open-minded brain is one capable of paving new neuronal networks when faced with adversity.
Our brain depends on “newness” to stay adaptable
Exercises like brushing your teeth holding your toothbrush in your other hand forces our brain to build new circuits, keeping it supple. The same goes for taking-in new ideas, skills, and actively challenging our preconceptions. Conversely, a closed mind runs along familiar neural pathways. Over time, this causes our cognitive adaptability to stagnate.
Research has shown that as we age, people who remain intellectually curious and open to new learning experiences have slower rates of cognitive decline and a reduced risk of neurodegenerative diseases. By embracing new information, even if it contradicts our current beliefs, we are essentially giving our brains a workout, strengthening cognitive reserves, and enhancing our problem-solving abilities.
This isn’t just about avoiding decline; it’s about actively promoting cognitive flourishing. An open mind allows us to continue learning, to engage with complex ideas, and to maintain intellectual agility. All of these things contribute to a better quality of life.
How does this relate to a kitten?
Maybe it’s a stretch, but opening myself up to a new kitten in the family has already taught me about feline disease, early separation issues, feeding, vaccinations, and the vast array of feline toys. Maybe most importantly, it’s shown me love has no rulebook. You don’t need to be a self-professed kitten person to love a kitten.
Being open-minded contributes to well-being
Beyond the cognitive benefits, open-mindedness contributes to our emotional well-being and resilience. Life has a way of serving up lots of change as we age. The loss of loved ones, new health issues, and rapidly advancing technology can leave us feeling a bit lost. Resiliency can be attributed to neuroplasticity, or a brain that has wired itself to adapt.
When our minds are closed, we struggle to adapt to change. Think about every time you have to learn a new Operating System or phone upgrade. For lots of us, this creates stress, anxiety, and a sense that we’ve somehow been left behind. When we at least try to be open to ‘newness,’ approach it with a level of excitement rather than dread, we’re better equipped to navigate the transition.
Open-mindedness is vital to our relationships
Most of us can say when someone we care deeply about presents us with a perspective, lifestyle, or pet choice we don’t understand, we have great incentive to open our minds to it. It could be something as small as a child coming home with a tattoo, or something much larger, that pushes us to expand our understanding, or acceptance.
Cue the eye-rolls
I can see my kids’ eye-rolls as they read this. Putting open-mindedness into practice does not come easily, and sometimes doesn’t come at all. Cliche as the phrase may be, open-mindedness is a journey, not a destination. The key is to stay mindful of working at being open-minded. We may not always ‘succeed,’ but each attempt brings us a bit closer and exposes us to continuous learning, something which is very much a sign of a rich life.
My mind was now fully-open to the idea of a kitten
This very thing was front and center for me a couple of days after the kitten news, when I found myself shopping at Target. I spotted a large, stuffed tomato in the dollar bins. Yes, a tomato. My mind went instantly to the new kitten and how much fun I knew she would have batting this tomato about.
Mind you, I have never had a kitten and I’ve never seen one having fun with a stuffed tomato. Still, I bought the tomato, and shipped it to Delaware, the home state of our youngest and his new kitten.
A 2-1/2 week old kitten is even smaller than you’d imagine. At first, the tomato terrified her. But this only lasted a few days. Then, this:
One reason we struggle to be open-minded
The over-50 brain is more susceptible to cognitive overload than a youthful brain. Processing new information is actually more challenging for the aging brain. Our processing speed and working memory become less efficient. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible to process loads of new information, but it does mean it requires more effort.
This is probably why it’s easier to opt for the path of least resistance, which often means sticking with the familiar. This can appear as closed-mindedness, even if it’s partly a matter of cognitive energy conservation.
Some of these traits exist in all generations
There are often other factors at play, too. Experts call this ‘confirmation bias,’ and it means that we tend to interpret information in a way that confirms our preconceptions. Of course, this can be true, at any age. A toddler may decide that green vegetables aren’t for him. Once this happens, it’s tough to get him to change his mind. Still, the more years we get under our belt, carrying certain beliefs, the more we are convinced they’re immovable.
This can lead to cognitive dissonance
It’s often easier to dismiss or discredit new information than to undergo the significant mental restructuring required to entertain and/or accept it. This can lead to cognitive dissonance, or the agitation we feel when we try to keep opposing thoughts, actions or behaviors in our head. For instance, you want to be healthy and you know exercise is part of being healthy. But you really don’t want to exercise. This creates cognitive dissonance.
We are not hard-wired to be closed or open-minded
The good news is that closed-mindedness is not an inevitable consequence of aging. It is a mindset, and like any mindset, it can be changed. Being open-minded as we age often requires intentional effort, self-awareness, and a proactive approach.
Ways to embrace discomfort and cognitive dissonance
Often, this means forcing ourselves to consider ideas that make us uncomfortable or create cognitive dissonance. Instead of recoiling, we need to practice leaning in to the discomfort. We can do this by asking questions, seeking clarification, and trying to understand the rationale behind different perspectives. We may still disagree, but at least we’ve allowed new inputs.
A little empathy can go a long way in being open-minded
Make a conscious effort to put yourself in others’ shoes. Before forming an opinion or making a judgment, try to imagine what it’s like to be them, what experiences have shaped their views, and what challenges they might face. This act of empathy naturally broadens your perspective and reduces the likelihood of rigid, one-sided thinking.
Cultivate an open-minded ecosystem
The people we surround ourselves with profoundly influence our perspectives and mindsets. To foster and maintain open-mindedness as we age, we need to intentionally seek out friends who are doing the same.
Seek out the optimistic and open-minded
Connect with people who believe in continuous personal growth and who approach life with a positive, forward-looking attitude. These are the people less likely to be stuck in the past or resistant to change. Their enthusiasm for new possibilities can help inspire our own open-mindedness.
We have everything to gain by opening our minds
I think the perception is that once we hit a certain age, we settle into comfortable familiarity. And, in some ways this is probably true. But even while this is going on, we can also be about expanding and evolving. Yes, a kitten in a dog family may sound like a small thing.
But the amazing thing is that as soon as I realized I’d overcome my confirmation bias, and then my cognitive dissonance, (at least where kittens were concerned), I realized how much happiness I’d let into my life. I’m going to go meet Pyra in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned!
