Are You Living the Life You Dreamed Of? How to Start

Life starts fast. Before we know it, we’re 21, and in full-on building, nurturing, and striving mode. We’re navigating careers, raising families, supporting partners. But as we enter the second half of life we begin asking ourselves: Are you living the life you dreamed of?

Because we’re so caught-up in our younger years, we may wait too long to ask this question. But now can be the perfect time to reexamine our path. Are we living the life we dreamed of?

Sometimes it takes being forced out of a comfortable, maybe unfulfilling routine to step back and assess where we are. Maybe it’s due to job loss, life changes, or any number of things. Maybe you’ve retired but you feel you lack purpose in your life. Maybe you’re finding yourself with a little too much free time.

Sometimes the questions come from multiple places

As seems to happen frequently for me, a chance conversation with someone much younger brought to mind the quote: “It’s never too late to be what we might have been.” — George Eliot

I was sitting in the chair getting my hair cut, talking with Ryan, my stylist for the past few years. He’d switched locations since my last cut and I asked him what had changed. As he filled me in on the events of the past month, I was struck by his vision and the role synchronicity plays in our lives.

His former Salon had called a meeting of all staff, last minute. The reason? To let everyone know they were closing their doors. In two days.

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.

–George Eliot

Most of us have probably found ourselves in a similar situation at some point in our lives. Maybe our ending is our choosing. But often they seem to catch us off-guard. Like Ryan’s did.

“But look where I’ve ended up,” Ryan said. He pointed to Alyssa, his colorist partner in the new business they’d started together. “It’s where I always knew I wanted to be. I think I still have the picture I drew in grade school,” he said. Something shifted our conversation and I didn’t get to ask about the picture again, until later.

The landscape of our days doesn’t always equal our dreams

Endings don’t always just thrust themselves upon us. Sometimes, we’ve been feeling them long before we allow ourselves to see them.

Years ago, a good friend who’d gone to an Ivy League college and top-tier law school, was working as an Associate in a Manhattan law firm. For nine years, she did the job, before allowing herself realize she hated it. After some careful planning, she left law and began a new career in Education Reform, her passion. In her mid-30’s she said she felt as though her life had finally begun.

Sometimes our vision of our “dream job” evolves. What we desired at 25, might be vastly different from what we value at 50. Perhaps your dream isn’t about a prestigious title or a high salary, but about flexibility, impact, creativity, or simply more time for yourself and loved ones.

You may have already built a path to living the life you dreamed of

Sometimes our awakening means a whole new path. Other times, we realize we’ve been building the skills we need to live the life we dreamed of. We’ve just been doing it in the wrong place. Maybe it’s time to take all your hard-won experience and knowledge and put it to work under your own name. Maybe it’s just a slight pivot. Either way, the trick is recognizing opportunity when it comes along.

Living the life you dreamed of in the wrong place

So, back to Ryan. He and Alyssa left the meeting at their old Salon with no idea what they were going to do. Young, and without a lifetime of savings, paying the rent was top-of-mind. I’m not clear on whose idea it was at first, but one of the two said, “We should open our own Salon.”

Fast forward to that afternoon as I learned what the two of them had accomplished in roughly three weeks’ time. They’d secured space in a work-sharing building that allowed them to brand and decorate their space however they chose. Many of their clients followed them and they were happier than they’d ever been.

The reality check: How many are really living the dream?

Let’s be honest. If we polled a thousand women over 45, how many would unequivocally say, “Yes! I am absolutely living the life I dreamed of”? The number might be surprisingly small.

Our dreams evolve. Life throws curveballs. Responsibilities shift. What felt like a dream at 20 can feel irrelevant or even suffocating at 50. The expectation that we should be living some static, pre-defined “dream life” can be a source of immense pressure and self-judgment.

For me, a series of health issues meant I couldn’t be present in the way I needed to as Creative Director. I couldn’t ‘hurry back,’ as I’d been asked to. I had some healing ahead of me. It was only in the space created by our parting that I allowed myself to begin work on Lifeticity.

Even amidst what at first felt like loss, I soon realized the pause created opportunity for me to regain more agency over my life. I could take my experience and leverage it to build something that would give me the flexibility I needed to regain my health, as well as build something.

Living the life you dreamed can fall a bit short

Another friend and her husband recently moved to another state, a dream move for them, as her husband finished-up his career. She said she was loving her days. “I get up, have coffee, sit by the pool for a bit, go to exercise class, and suddenly it’s 3 o’clock. But then I realize I haven’t actually ‘done’ anything.'”

Now, it’s all in your perspective. For some, that may be the idyllic day. For others, there’s a drive to continue accomplishing, helping others, or even earning some income. She claimed to have no idea where to begin to figure out what to add to her days.

The life you dreamed of can be hard to grasp

I reminded her of the way she lit-up when telling me about helping out with a friend’s elderly mother. “I just talked to her, that’s it. But she was happy and she made me happy.” I suggested there were countless opportunities to enrich the lives of the elderly. As a job, a volunteer, full-time, part-time, sporadically.

I’m no soothsayer, but sometimes all it takes is someone other than ourselves to remind us of what’s right in front of us. If you’re stuck, unsure which way to head, try asking someone who knows you what they think. You just might be pleasantly surprised at the insight they have into you.

How to get started on the life you dreamed of

The question, “Are you living the life you dreamed of?” isn’t about arriving at a fixed destination. It’s about the ongoing, unfolding of your story. It’s about recognizing that midlife isn’t an ending, but a powerful new beginning – a chapter where your accumulated wisdom, strength, and self-knowledge can truly shine.

Back to Ryan. Before leaving Edge Salon, that afternoon, I circled back to the picture Ryan mentioned earlier. Oh, it’s a picture I drew in grade school of my dream job. “It’s this,” he said, pointing to their new logo.

SOMEDAY
I’m going to run a hair salon with my friend.

Ryan, Co-Owner, Edge Salon, Eagan, MN

Does the universe know what’s best for us?

This is a deeply personal and philosophical question, but for many women in midlife, there’s a growing sense that there are forces at play beyond our immediate control. Whether you call it the universe, divine timing, fate, or simply the natural flow of life, there are moments when events unfold in ways that, in hindsight, seem perfectly orchestrated for our highest good, even if they felt chaotic at the time.

This isn’t about passive acceptance of everything bad that happens. It’s about cultivating a mindset of trust. Trusting that even when things feel wrong, there might be a larger purpose or a new direction being revealed. It’s about being open to the possibilities that emerge when your carefully constructed plans fall apart.

Actionable ways to move toward the life you dreamed of

• The “Ideal Day” Visualization: Close your eyes and vividly imagine your ideal day, from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep.
• Don’t censor yourself. What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with? How do you feel? Write down every detail.
• Then, compare it to your current day. Identify the gaps, but also the surprising similarities. This exercise helps clarify what truly matters to you.
• “Time Audit” and Intentional Scheduling: For a week, track how you spend your time. Be honest.
• Then, identify areas where your time isn’t aligned with your values or desired feelings.
• Can you swap out passive activities for active ones, or carve out small pockets for things that bring you happiness? Even 15-30 minutes, consistently, can make a big difference.
• Micro-Moments of Gratitude: Throughout your day, consciously notice and appreciate small moments. The warmth of your coffee, a kind word from a colleague, the beauty of a sunset, a moment of quiet.
• This practice, often called “atomic gratitude,“ helps shift your focus to the positive and can help lead to clarity.

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Take your findings and use them recreate your life

After doing this, you may realize you’re not living the life you dreamed of, or even a life that feels deeply authentic and fulfilling. Even if you’re not sure what to do with this information right now, it’s still an empowering realization that it’s time to take action. This midlife phase is a powerful window for reinvention, redirection, and renewal.

The beautiful unfolding

The question, “Are you living the life you dreamed of?” isn’t about arriving at a fixed destination. It’s about the ongoing, unfolding of your unique story. It’s about recognizing that midlife isn’t an ending, but a powerful new beginning, a chapter where your accumulated wisdom, strength, and self-knowledge can truly shine.

Here’s another quote I love:

You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.

–Michael McMillan

Ryan’s new chapter might have seemed like a punch, initially. But without it and his grade school dreams, mixed with some savvy thinking, he and Alyssa may never have opened their own Salon. And I’ll add: I insisted he frame that prophetic drawing from years back and hang it on the wall in their Salon!

Realizing that adversity often brings opportunity is the first step. It’s about fostering resilience instead of regret or dissatisfaction. It’s an invitation – a call to pause, reflect, and gently assess where you are, where you’ve been, and where you genuinely want to go. It’s more about clarity than crisis.

So go on, get started on writing your next chapter!

Last update on 2025-10-10 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API