Are You Living Your Life or ‘Creating’ It?

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Creating your life requires taking the lead

Somewhere along the way, we start to settle. We follow routines, meet expectations, check boxes, and tell ourselves this is just how life is now. But what if we told you that you don’t have to just live your life. You can create it.

For those of us living life in the second half, this isn’t the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of our most intentional, creative, and soul-satisfying chapter. We’ve gathered wisdom. We’ve overcome challenges. We know more about what matters to us, and what doesn’t. Now it’s time to stop running on autopilot and take the wheel.

We’ll explore how to move from merely existing, to actively designing a life you love, one decision, one habit, and one intentional experience at a time.

Learn the difference: Living vs. creating your life

Living life

Living your life is what many of us do, especially at certain times. The metaphor of life being a river, where we’re swept downstream by forces outside our control, is apt. Honestly, it probably describes us all, at least during certain periods of life.

This sense of being swept along by life’s currents doesn’t even feel like a bad thing. When kids are young and needy pretty much all-the-time, when we’re fully occupied with professional pursuits, jobs, or family needs, this is us. These periods are all about routines and obligations. This is normal.

The part of ‘living your life’ that begins to feel off, somehow, can be when we realize inertia has set-in. These are the periods of time when we do have a break from routine and obligations, but it’s just easier to continue to be swept along. For many of us, the sudden transitions in life take us by surprise. They leave us in old patterns and routines, many of which may no longer serve us.

The trick is being able to step outside yourself, so you can see your patterns for what they are. Then, intentionally define what you’d like your routines to be.

For many of us, the first time we really have an opportunity to do this is in the second half of life. And this may be why we’re so unaware of the opportunity in doing just this.

Creating your life with intention

Creating your life is about intention. It means designing your days with vision, purpose, and personal meaning. We can’t always live life this way. But when we enter a phase where we can see outside the ‘musts.’ This is when we get to step back and consider the life we could create for ourselves.

What is agency and why is it important

Agency means a number of different but complimentary things, depending on whether it’s described in psychological, social, or self- terms.

But here’s the big difference: Agency flows from the outside in. And agency can flow from the inside out. You can probably guess how these definitions align with ‘living’ vs. ‘creating’ your life.

Ask yourself:

• Are you making conscious choices—or going through the motions?
• Are your days filled with “shoulds” or with things that light you up?
• Do you shape your time—or does your time shape you?

Start with a vision, not a to-do list in creating your life

You can’t create what you haven’t imagined. So ask yourself:

• What does a beautiful, fulfilling life look like for you now?
• How do you want to feel when you wake up each day?
• What do you want to learn, explore, build, give, become?

Don’t get hung up on how you’ll take all your thoughts down. Maybe you like to journal. If so, then write it out. Sketch it out in visuals, if that’s your thing. Or, even create a vision board of what you’d like your life to look like, pulling images from magazines or photo sites.

Whatever form it takes, keep it out. You want to see it many times a day. If your days are currently too full, keep it near your bed so at the very least, it’s the first thing you see when you wake up. And it’s the last thing your mind takes in before sleep.

Vision Boards aren’t new. But they’re sticking around because they work, especially for highly visual people. Nothing fancy is needed. You can start with a simple one like this:

Sometimes, being able to clip colors, images, locations, even products that speak to you is the easiest way to begin.

For those less visual and more in need of getting their thoughts rolling, a simple, but beautiful Journal may spark your journey.

This is a perfect catalyst to just that. With its gently guided prompts and spare design, your thoughts, visions and ideas take center stage.

Make space for creating your life

The same way a full sock drawer won’t close over one more pair of socks, your mind can’t take in and hold a new vision if it’s already full. In the case of your life, start identifying habits that aren’t necessary. Maybe it’s weekly, or even daily, obligations that have outlived their purpose. It could also be emotional clutter, those thoughts you keep recycling through your brain, to no real end.

Declutter all aspects of your life

• Declutter your home: One drawer, one closet, one weekend at a time.
• Declutter your calendar: Say no to obligations that drain you. Make space for what excites you.
• Declutter your mind: Try morning journaling or meditative walks to clear your mental noise.

An old-fashioned calendar helps you create your life

While this won’t resonate with everyone, I actually keep a calendar hung next to me in my office. A paper one with the big boxes, one for each day. My goal each month is to make sure I have more open squares than filled ones. Without this space, I find my thoughts and even my intentions tend to fold in on themself.

The hand-painted flowers are gorgeous and the months written in English, Spanish and French are an omni-present reminder to me of all there is to learn.

Create new routines that ground and guide you

Living on autopilot isn’t the same as living with purpose. Small daily rituals help you build the structure of a meaningful life.

There’s a reason the people who most stick with an exercise plan do it first thing. It can’t get edged out if you do it before your day even officially begins.

It’s also proven that beginning your day with ‘intention,’ meaning doing something meaningful to you, begins your day in a way that guides the rest of your day.

• Morning rituals: Start with movement, meditation, journaling, or your coffee, or tea, in silence.
• Evening rituals: Reflect on the day, unplug from screens, plan tomorrow’s intentions.

I love this mug for its feel in my hands, and the subtle initial reminder that each and every day can and should start with me:

Say ‘yes’ to new experiences in creating your life

We often find ourselves saying ‘no’ to new experiences because our days are so crammed with have-to’s. By eliminating a few have-to’s, you create space for some things that are outside your comfort zone, your normal routines, or even the people you typically associate with. Just say ‘yes’ to a few activities you’ve never thought might be of interest to you.

The options are endless

• Try taking a class in something you’ve never tried—pottery, coding, Spanish, improv
• Try signing up for a retreat or workshop without your friend group, so you’ll meet new people
• Try traveling solo, even for a quick weekend trip

Create your life by curating the people around you

Creating your life means choosing who gets to be part of it.

• Notice who drains your energy vs. who fuels your spirit
• Prioritize relationships that feel mutual, supportive, and inspiring
• Say goodbye (or gently step back) from toxic patterns or people

Can’t find a new group to join

Try creating your own, based on something you’ve always been interested in. If your book group’s become ‘tired,’ think about hosting a whole new group, with a whole new topic. You could start a group called, Spirituality vs. Religion.

The ask could be that each member you invite needs to invite two others. And everyone needs to come with two book recommendations on this topic. You’ll be amazed at the diversity of what’s offered up!

Pursue something that scares you a little

No one likes to fail. And all-too-often, fear of failure can keep us from pursuing the very things that most interest us.

Maybe you’ve been an accountant, dentist, hair dresser in your professional career. But what you’ve always dreamed of is being a photographer. And maybe you can’t give up your day job yet, but you can begin honing your photography skills, on weekends, by taking a few dedicated vacation days.

Maybe your next vacation could be to a photography intensive course you’ve always wanted to do. Give yourself a chance to really think about what you’d love to do — even if it scares you a little. In fact, so much the better, if it does. It just means the stakes are higher for you.

Maybe creating your life starts with a book

It’s easy to believe our iPhone cameras are all we need. But like so much in life, need doesn’t cover it all. Maybe we long to explore the breath of a DSLR camera but we’re afraid to take the financial leap.

Start with a book. Learn. Explore. Get your feet under you, first. Here’s a great intro:

Count the wins along the way

• At the end of each week, write down three things you’re proud of
• Toast your growth, no matter how small
• Share your wins with someone who you know will cheer you on

Be sure to keep inspiration close at-hand

The life you create is influenced by what you consume.

• Curate your social media feed to reflect who you want to become. Or not
• Read books, listen to podcasts, and follow thought leaders who stretch your thinking
• Keep quotes and images around your space that reflect your goals

Creating your life requires daily practice

This isn’t about blowing up your life or making radical changes overnight. It’s about choosing, every day, to align your time, energy, and focus with what truly matters to you.

Creating your life means becoming the author of your story, not just a character in it. And the best news? You’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting from experience. You’ve got this!

Last update on 2026-01-15 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API